This is a long awaited post, which has been working away in my mind for almost 5 months now and today is the day I get it down on paper.
As many of you who know me and my work will know I am now a mummy. My finest creation arrived in March and he is not made of glass. But boy has he turned my world upside down. Comfort zones out the window and I spend every day winging it( As i know now that most mummies do, under that calm exterior). Every day is a whole new adventure but I love it and even more I love him.
Before the wee fella came along I had imagined I might be able to keep my hand in at my ‘work’, to keep things ticking over. I had visions of an hour here and there in the studio while he slept.
Sleep…..what is that? I believe I have the only child who can make it through 16 hours of the day, surviving on a couple of 5 minute power naps……I think he was born with super human powers!!!
So the reality is very different and if the little one does have a nap, there is always something more pressing to take care of....…like eat, go to the loo or sleep too. Sleep deprivation sucks and could really drive anyone insane. It adds to that already crazy baby brain, a condition i now know truly does exist. Yes im talking, car keys in the fridge, loosing everything, sometimes even unable to string a sentence together which makes any sense.
Although now coming to 5 months I can seek help from others to be able to get a little time out. And sometimes I seek sanctuary and sanity in the studio. Although not always for any length of time or guaranteed to be uninterrupted. But still it is some me time and this is how I see it. I don’t see this as’ work’…it is my down time. Time to remember who I am or reflect on who I have become. Maybe I don’t achieve much in there but it’s my space and time.
I have recently teamed up with a group of fellow artists/makers and we have become a Collective under the title of Homestyle Argyll. This works well as we are able to support each other in our creative journeys and help get each other out there. We have done a few shows so far this year. I have noticed a huge downfall in custom and have to question how feasible taking on too many of these are for me just now. It’s the upheaval that goes along with it and the stress of packing everything up, making sure it’s all priced……and all the other unseen tasks. Meanwhile feeling like I am missing time with being a mummy and only giving the shows minimal attention, it is leaving me feeling frazzled and torn. Time spent in the studio would be better spent tinkering away on definite orders and commissions. Or just doing something that brings me joy and enjoying the process.
So it is time to realise and happily accept my life has changed and times are changing. I am no longer just an artist. I am a mum……that’s my job now and that’s where I want to be. And enjoy every moment as I can already see time passing so quickly (although sometimes the days are sleep deprived and sooo long). My creativity will always be there and burn inside me….but my baby will not always need me and adore me how he dose right now. And that is a feeling or moment I cannot capture in glass or recreate. And my time to ‘work’ on my glass will come again……….it is time to step back and enjoy where this journey takes me….us. The art of mother nature I have succumbed to you x